i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
