What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you never un-have a 4some
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
