Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
No more Irish car bombs ever.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
