you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
