Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
