Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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