well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
