Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize