so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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