i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
