I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
