My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
