Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There's always time for handjobs
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
