I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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