So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
