Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
