I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
third nipple confirmed
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
