I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
