ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
