So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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