ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize