Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
