all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
