i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
