Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
