I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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