spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I party with great urgency now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
