I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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