She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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