so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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