Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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