White coat. Heels.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
