Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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