It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
