Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
