I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
