Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize