I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
