awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
