I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
