She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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