This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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