im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I love having hate sex.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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