If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
