dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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