she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
