in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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