his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
