Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
