Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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