barbara walters just said penis...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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