STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
