She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
