They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Never let your siblings swipe right.
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