this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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