were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
