he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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