It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
