Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
