I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
