$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
