Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize