Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
