I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
