Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Operation Purity has been aborted
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
