You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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