Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
