How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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