it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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