i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
