Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize