the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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