Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
