And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize