Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
