I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
