The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
