Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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