Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
