This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
