he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
