This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
